Hey you! Remember those situations when you are with someone new and you really don’t know what to do with your hands. Yeah right we have all been there. But here is the good news: there is a lot you can do with your hands and other parts of your body while on a date. No, you naughty little devil, we are not talking about that yet. Here are a few body language tricks to keep you calm and confident while on a date.
When talking to someone we are interested in, we kind of get catch up in the unavoidable habit of obsessing about what we say and how we say it. Yet, many studies have proved words represent only 7% of the total communication signals captured by the receiving end of an interaction. So how else do we communicate what we want to express? Well the tone of voice is just as important: we can convey the same message in a cheerful, formal or annoyed way only changing the tone of the voice. This is why scholars say that the tone of voice communicates 38% of an entire message! Yes all very well! But how about the remaining 55% of the message? Well that’s where hips won’t lie! Let us introduce you to the powerful tool of BODY LANGUAGE:
In a two-way conversation it is important that the speaker feels heard and understood. To demonstrate that our focus is on conversation (do not make us want to distract us), we resort to eye contact. That is, looking into the eyes of the person speaking, without moving his gaze to a point placed behind him or elsewhere in the room. It is important one masters the difference between eye contact and staring. Please don’t stare; just don’t… This would indicate that we are getting bored and this may be irritating to our date who would perceive it as a lack of interest in him or her. If eye contact is difficult to maintain, try to sightly focus on your date’s tip of the nose or to move your gaze, as you reflect on what is being said without resourcing to an external object.
Crossing your arms, for example, is clearly a position that indicates a desire for protection, due to fear of being judged or injured. This is subconsciously translated into negative signals by your potential date as it indicates lack of trust. However, when we expose it, for example by opening the arms before a hug, we become vulnerable and then we communicate clearly that we trust the other person. I suppose the message here would be: even if you have no reason to trust someone who you are just meeting, be positive, hope for the best and give it a go. Of course safety is paramount.
Hiding hands in your pockets is also received as a potential threat. Hands are the means we possess to hurt someone physically and in which they could potentially find a weapon. For this reason our survival instinct leads us not to trust those, whose hands we can not see. This happens at a subconscious level, but it has a huge impact in how you will be perceived by your date. So keep your hands in sight, even if you are holding an object in your hand. It is certainly an important way to ensure that the other person can have positive thoughts you.
In the next part we are going to continue with additional aspects of body language which can be equally effective
Let’s Sugar up!