Bored in a Relationship? Scientific evidence on how to fight it
Let her/him – who never felt bored in a relationship – cast the first stone. Hm… I guess we have a ‘problem’ here. I mean, this person does not exist, does she/he?? And that is perfectly fine. So the thing is, how to get away from this feeling in a relationship? “It’s pretty simple!” – One might say – “Spice things up with an unusual activity! Go on an adventure, do something new with your partner, right?!” WRONG! Scientific evidence shows that the most general idea on how to beat relationship boredom might be mistaken. “OMG, and now what?”. Now stay with us because we summarized the research for you, and here is what you should really do to beat relationship boredom.
It is normal to feel bored in a relationship
I’d dare to say that boredom is one of the most common feelings of all human beings. Whenever we think that we are falling into a routine, that things are too stable, and that our lives are lacking some adventure, it doesn’t take much for our old friend boredom to revisit us. It wouldn’t be different with relationships, and that’s ok. However, too much boredom can be harmful. Ultimately, it can lead to a breakup, and nobody wants that! Based on that, researchers of Carleton University performed a study to give us some light on what couples can do to escape from a monotonous relationship.
The research and findings
In an interview with 229 participants, the researchers asked them what they should do in case of feeling bored in a relationship. As expected, most of them said that they should engage in novel activities. This is precisely what is dictated by popular culture and what you’ll find on Google if you search “how to beat relationship boredom”. However, when asked what they would like to do, most of the participants answered that they would prefer to do a familiar activity, which makes them feel more secure (e.g. have dinner in a favorite restaurant), than to engage in an exciting activity that is new to them (e.g. have dinner in a restaurant they don’t know). So what are the implications of these findings??
How to really beat relationship boredom
These findings suggest that when boredom knocks at your relationship’s doors, you shouldn’t race to engage in an unknown activity with your partner. Instead, think about planning an event that is unusual, but still familiar to you. And most important, that is something you both will enjoy for sure. A novelty for novelty can end up in activities that don’t bring pleasure to you. So, in the end, you could be not only bored but also upset or angry.
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