Engaging in an Open Relationship
Oh, look if it isn’t the trending relationship. It is undeniable that the open relationship is becoming more and more common in the past years. However, before boarding in this trend with your partner, you must ask yourselves some questions. What are your opinions, expectations, and fears considering this kind of relationship? Are you really compatible with it?
How to make an open relationship succeed
An open relationship is a mutual agreement where partners are free to date other people. In other words, it is when a couple decides for a non-monogamous way of life. How it works exactly is up to the partners. The only prerequisite is that the respect of the accord in any case. But some of you might be asking, why would somebody decide for non-monogamy?? In many cases, the couples see in this the chance to escape from a boring sexual life or to spice things up.
Rules are fundamental to avoid putting the relationship at risk. The partners should discuss and establish them together, and both parties must commit to them. A standard, for example, could be that they are only allowed to have sex with other people, but not involve further than that. The couple’s relationship must stay a priority. Mutual respect should absolutely be kept. Although these rules bring the couple some safety, jealousy can never be completely ruled out. Then it helps to talk about sex as well as about the burgeoning jealousy. Open communication about feelings prevents one partner from feeling betrayed by the other. For some couples, talking about sex experienced elsewhere has a stimulating effect and brings pleasure back to each other.
But openness towards oneself should also prevail. Do you have other reasons than sex to choose an open relationship? If there are feelings involved, maybe it is not a good idea. For example, if your desire for your partner is walking a tightrope, there’s a higher risk of falling in love with a sexual partner after good sex.
Love without exclusivity: pros and cons
As in any relationship model, there are reasons that speak for or against the attempt to open a relationship to the outside world. This is definitely supported by a change in bed and a newly experienced relationship of trust. Sometimes, this is the best way to solve a relationship problem. Also, there is no fear of being “cheated” when the extramarital sex is consent. Even a premature separation, because a partner feels sexually frustrated, can be prevented in such a way.
But there are also arguments against an open relationship. Not everyone manages to get his jealousy under control. It can also hurt one’s self-esteem even though there is a relationship of trust and the shared private sphere is taboo for third parties. The same is true when unintentional love for a new sexual partner comes into play. For the existing relationship, this can become a real stress factor and ultimately lead to separation.
Common reasons for an open relationship
Each age group will choose an open relationship for a different reason. While younger people try it out because they are looking for an alternative love model or don’t want to commit themselves yet. Older couples may want to break through the monotony of everyday love and try something new instead of giving up a good relationship. But no one should throw themselves head over heels at the idea of trying out a new type of relationship. Becoming slowly familiar with the benefits and risks that such a change is likely to bring should come first.
There is no guide to the best way to live an open relationship. For some, it’s the occasional one-night stand; for others, it’s the ability to turn it into permanent polyamory in which one or both partners enter into a second relationship. Whether swingers club, casual sex, or a second relationship, the prerequisite is always that both partners agree and seek the same thing. Otherwise, love quickly turns into suffering!
Both partners must want an open relationship – otherwise, it won’t work!