However, how many people do you know in real life that have become happier and healthier since the beginning of the pandemic? How many times have you tried to improve something about yourself only to fall back to the same patterns within days? Didn’t that make you feel even worse than before? Here are some reasons why you might have felt like that:

The downside of the self-improvement trend

I don’t blame anyone for trying to become a better person. It’s admirable and wise to take time to assess one’s life and change things that are obviously not working. Nonetheless, I think the attitude behind self-improvement efforts can range from healthy to toxic.

It makes you feel inadequate

How would you feel if a friend of yours came over to your house and told you you could be healthier, slimmer, prettier, smarter and wealthier if you did exactly what they have been doing? It would really depend on their tone, right?

On the one hand, they could be offering help in a friendly way — along the lines of “if I can do it, you can do it too!”

On the other hand, it could sound like they are suggesting you should lose weight because you are fat, you could look better (which implies you look bad), you could be making more money but now you are broke and so on.

Wouldn’t the latter be extremely painful and make you feel embarrassed about your current self?

RELATED ARTICLE COMING UP SOON: What is radical self-acceptance?

It sets unachievable goals, so you are bound to fail

Again, I am not against self-improvement. I oppose toxic self-improvement.

We are all familiar with New Year’s resolutions and with the fact that a very thin percentage of people actually achieves them. Yet, we all make our vision boards to try to stay on track with our goals. So if we are constantly trying and failing, it is time to rethink the way we are doing it.

There are two things you should always keep in mind when setting goals:

• If you set the bar too high, you will be setting yourself up for failure. Aim for small increments.
• If you try to improve many things about yourself at the same time, you will feel overwhelmed and stop trying pretty soon. Old habits die hard.

Be mindful of these common pitfalls. This is the only way to bring about self-improvement without making you feel inadequate, lazy and stupid.

But, if you ask me, I’d say:

Self-love and self-acceptance are the only kind of self-improvement we should be aiming for.

RELATED ARTICLE: Why people are unconsciously afraid to change

The post This is Why the Current Self-Improvement Trend Might Backfire on Us appeared first on blog.my-sugar-daddy.co.uk.

We are afraid of change and all it could mean

I know how “out there” this headline might seem. If you want change, why would you fear it? But I’m not implying here that you fear change itself, I’m saying you might unconsciously fear the real-life consequences of it.

Why? Because they are unpredictable. You might know what to expect if you change, but you don’t know how the people you know will react to it. That belongs to the realm of the unknown until everything has actually come about.

We fear the unknown

The unknown is a huge cause of fear among people. It’s what awaits us in the future. It could be anything: positive or negative. And when we get caught up trying to foresee the future and prepare for it, we get anxious.

However, when it comes to this topic, the fear of the unknown is only the second biggest fear at play here. What is the biggest fear then, you ask.

Related article: Understand the fear of falling in love

Above all, we are afraid of change because we fear isolation

That might seem quite far-fetched, but it isn’t far from the truth. Think with me: what would happen if you were able to change yourself and your life in all ways you wished? Wouldn’t you turn into, on some level, a whole different person?

Could you be sure that the rest of your life would stay like it is? After all, you wouldn’t be the same girl your partner fell in love with or the same employee your company hired.

The reason why you can’t change or sustain change is that there is just too much holding you in place. And it is mostly about fear.

There is no shame in recognizing that. It’s human. Thanks to the pandemic, we all know the terrors of isolation and the importance or having people close to us, who care about us and are there to support us.

Now that you are aware of it, you can take steps towards change knowing that the people who care about you and your life getting better will stick around. Those who want you to stay the same don’t deserve to be around the best version of you

You might also like: How to become an empowered sugar baby

The post The Real Reason Why We are Afraid of Change appeared first on blog.my-sugar-daddy.co.uk.

A reliable sugar daddy…

… doesn’t disappear for long periods of time

Nowadays, everyone is afraid of being ghosted. As a result, some sugar babies get hypervigilant and despaired whenever their sugar daddy takes more than usual to reply.

For this reason, let her know in advance how long you won’t be available for. It’s good for her nerves

… is punctual

We get you’re busy and sometimes things take longer than expected or come up out of nowhere. As we suggested above, let her know how long you estimate it might take and keep her updated. Prefer to call the date off rather than risk keeping her waiting for many hours.

… pays his allowance on time

Worrying about money is one of the things that most commonly keeps people up at night. You don’t want your sugar baby to be one of those. Keep your part of the agreement regarding money. This way, you’ll have a joyful, worry-free sugar baby to share your free time with.

A reliable sugar daddy respects her feelings

Everyone has bad days. No matter how nice the evening could be, sometimes it’s nearly impossible to do anything to feel better. Don’t demand her to always be at her best when you meet — or at least be flexible and reschedule your next date if she isn’t feeling great. And if you still want to cheer her up with a gift, follow these tips to find the perfect present for your sugar baby!

Did you like our tips? Click here for more articles with valuable tips for sugar daddies!

The post How To Become a Reliable Sugar Daddy appeared first on blog.my-sugar-daddy.co.uk.

Here’s what I found out:

It all started with a feeling

As hundreds of mornings this year, it took me long to leave bed. Usually, I’d wake up feeling kinda meh, grab my phone and distract myself with cute animal pictures from Reddit. Instead, I decided to do like they say in hundreds of YouTube videos (like this) and “stay with my feelings”.

So I did my best to empty my mind completely and recognize what I was feeling and where. It wasn’t as easy as it might sound! What I noticed was an unpleasant feeling in my belly, like pressure on my stomach.

Then I noticed my mind wasn’t quiet at all: there were many thoughts swirling around in my head, all related to how I would make ends meet despite the pandemic.

What if my sugar daddy suddenly decided not to see me anymore? What if he found someone more attractive and fun than me? What if I lose my job? What if… what if… what if… At some point, I noticed my emotional investigation wasn’t going anywhere, so I went on with my day as usual.

But then I decided to talk about this with my therapist. Had I gotten the “feeling” thing wrong?

It turns out, you can’t get it wrong. She easily found a name for what I was feeling: anxiety. It’s a perfectly normal feeling that tends to crop up whenever people worry too much about the future. It’s a natural reaction to uncertainty.

And that brought me to my realization about sugar daddies:

Reliable sugar daddies are good against anxiety

We yearn for a reliable sugar daddy as much as we yearn for certainty and security. Our lives would be much easier if we had more people we can rely on. Otherwise, we feel fragile, breakable, vulnerable to the negative consequences of any decision or change outside of us.

Living like that is stressful as hell. And that’s why I wish for a stable sugar arrangement and, therefore, a reliable sugar daddy. Another thing that would definitely help would be to become an empowered sugar baby. Here’s how.

If you are a sugar daddy and want to be that person for your sugar baby, check out this post on “How to be a reliable sugar daddy” that will come out next week.

The post Why Does It Feel So Good to Have a Reliable Sugar Daddy? appeared first on blog.my-sugar-daddy.co.uk.

That’s why we want to talk to you about the advantages of keeping a diary and where to start.

Why take to journaling?

1- Journaling helps you organize your thoughts and reduce stress

We are often stressed because our minds are full of thoughts and things to do, we have trouble setting priorities or getting an overview.

By writing down everything that comes through our heads, we empty our minds, unloading everything onto the sheet of paper in front of us. Now we can see everything clearly, establish priorities and understand which things are really important and which, all in all, we can do without.

2 – It makes you reflect

The mere fact of having to express a thought in words forces us to analyze it. In doing so, we face our fears and concerns, without trying to ignore them. By admitting to our anxieties, we can find effective solutions and face them once and for all.

3 – It keeps you on track

In your diary, you can write a list of all your goals and ambitions, as well as resolutions for the new year, month, week or day. This is your space, so don’t worry about exaggerating or adding too many details. For example, if you are looking for a partner, describe how you would like it to be. This will help you understand what attributes are important to you and, therefore, what to pay attention to during a date.

4 – It allows you to stop and think

Life goes by so fast that we often don’t take the time to stop and observe it. Especially when we have so many things to do, we don’t stop to think about what we have that is beautiful, what we are grateful for and what we have achieved. Thanks to the personal diary we can do this work of introspection and develop more awareness about our lives.

What to write in a journal

The most effective technique to get rid of stress is certainly not to follow any rules or structure. Just enter the date and then you can give free rein to all your thoughts. One day you can tell what happened to you, how you feel about it and what thoughts torment you, and another day you can talk about your goals and what you are doing to achieve them.

Let the words flow freely, even though sometimes they may not make sense. This is your personal space and you can do whatever you want. This is also why it is important to be honest and not lie. After all, why would you lie to yourself?

When to write

The ideal would be to write whenever you feel like. However, to begin with, you could choose a specific time of day or, if writing every day seems too demanding for you, start writing once a week. You will surely have a lot to tell about the past seven days and you can surely find time to do it.

Also, my advice is to write at night before you go to sleep. This way it will be easier to get to sleep because you will have a clearer mind.

Writing by hand or typing

The act of writing by hand is becoming more and more a nostalgic and somewhat antiquated gesture. Without a doubt, the scent of a new notebook, the feeling of the pen stroking the paper and the sight of your thoughts occupying physical space are sensations that you can’t have through a cold computer.

But there is more: on the computer, changes leave no trace. We can erase a thought we don’t like and it will disappear forever. It’s not the same on paper, where every word cut, every sentence modified and reworded several times, stays there and makes us understand which topics are difficult to express.

For these reasons, I believe that handwriting is fundamental to better understand our thoughts. In addition, by writing in a notebook, you no longer have to fear that everything disappears with a simple click.

Conclusion

In this article, we have seen how journaling can help us organize our thoughts, know ourselves better and be successful.

Have you ever tried out journaling? Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Journaling: a Key to Success appeared first on blog.my-sugar-daddy.co.uk.

How does the Michelangelo phenomenon look like in reality?

A basic requirement for the Michelangelo phenomenon is that both partners are able to recognize the positive in people. Then, they do the same with their partner.

The second necessary element is the willingness to promote their partner’s positive qualities. They want them to flourish and are completely supportive of them.

If you see a couple who puts lots of effort into enabling each other to achieve self-actualization, to come closer to the best version of their selves, you are observing the Michelangelo phenomenon.

Why is it called “the Michelangelo phenomenon”?

This effect is named after the Italian artist Michelangelo. Just as Michelangelo once formed his sculptures, the partners refine each other’s best sides. They recognize and promote the strengths of the other and thus contribute to their personality development through approval, (emotional) support and words of affirmation.

“The sculpture is already complete within the marble block before I start my work. It is already there, I just have to chisel away the superfluous material.”

Michelangelo

Recreating the Michelangelo phenomenon in your relationship

What can you do to ensure lasting happiness in your relationship? First of all, you can consider whether you and your partner have a positive basic attitude towards people. You should also be interested in your partner and their goals. Try to understand the motivations behind their desires. Then, offer support in every way possible so that they can get closer to the best version of themselves.

Of course, you are allowed to express your concerns if you think that something will not have the expected positive effect. Honesty is very important in a relationship. Be open with them and ask yourself why you might have reservations.

Conclusion

For happiness, freedom and a relationship that feels good to both people involved, mutual support is paramount. When two people love each other, they want the best for the other (ideally, considering that the Manhattan effect is a thing). Therefore, they support each other in becoming the best version of themselves.

We hope this is the case — or your goal — in your relationship.

The post The Michelangelo Phenomenon appeared first on blog.my-sugar-daddy.co.uk.

A healthy partnership

Mutual support in a relationship is a big plus. Not only that, this is the foundation of a healthy relationship. You not only want the best for yourself, but also for your partner.

Therefore, a relationship is a healthy mix of self-actualization and support. You and your partner support each other in becoming a better person in every way. This behavior is called the Michelangelo phenomenon in psychology and fosters a happy partnership.

What is the Manhattan effect?

The Manhattan effect is the opposite of supporting a romantic partner in achieving their goals. It happens when one person perceives the relationship to be threatened by a desire of their partner and chooses not to support them in fulfilling it.

The name comes from Woody Allen’s film Manhattan, which is about a couple with a considerable age difference. A young woman, who is planning a semester abroad, is asked by her partner to drop her dream because he fears that the relationship could end due to the long distance.

Perceiving someone else’s dream or desires as a threat to the relationship is typical of the Manhattan effect. It causes fear and insecurity to the partner who isn’t willing to go through any changes.

Conclusion

Of course, no one wants to go through this. But in reality, the Manhattan effect exists and is common because people tend to see themselves as the center of their universe and to only think of how things will affect them.

But not every potential threat is an actual threat. In the movie, for example, that couple could have stayed together in spite of the woman spending some time abroad. Often, difficult times like this even strengthen the relationship. To simply assume the worst is wrong.

The post The Manhattan Effect: A Toxic Dynamic appeared first on blog.my-sugar-daddy.co.uk.

No elegance is possible without perfume. It is the unseen, unforgettable, ultimate accessory.

Coco Chanel

The importance of perfume

That your perfume is part of people’s perception of you is no longer a novelty. As Coco Chanel already said many decades ago, perfume is an indispensable accessory for elegant people. Besides, research points out that scents remit to different memories and are able to direct human behavior, awakening good or bad feelings.

We can’t forget that each one of us has a characteristic natural scent — allegedly one of the key elements behind the most irresistible, irrational attraction that might happen between two people. This means that the same perfume will smell different when used by different people since it combines with one’s natural scent.

For this reason, it is important not to choose a perfume based on fashion trends or a perfume’s reputation alone. It must match your style, personality and the occasion.

How to choose the right perfume for you?

Know your preferences

Try to remember the perfumes and fragrances that marked you the most, like of body creams, shampoos and flowers. It can also be of kind of cigar, leather, air freshener, wood. This way, you can figure out the kinds of perfume notes you like most.

Do a quick research on the Internet to understand which are the notes (aromas) of these perfumes that you like most. It could be something like coffee, tobacco, leather, pine, musk, vanilla, chocolate, etc.

Online tools to help you choose the right perfume

These are the best tools to find the right perfume our team has found:

• Fragrantica is a very interesting site where you can find perfumes based on the notes you like and dislike.
• FragranceX has a quiz to help you find a perfume that suits your taste for music, travel and clothes as well as how you want to be perceived.

Knowing your favorite notes, it is much easier to shop for perfumes.

The right perfume for the right occasion

Knowing exactly on what occasions you intend to use the perfume is also something important when picking a fragrance. After all, a sexy musk goes better with a night out than with a day in the office. A light floral or citric is much more welcome in a professional environment than something woody or sweet.

Another point to take into consideration is intensity. Do you want other people to smell it or is it something more for you? Be careful with excesses, after all, when it comes to perfumes, the preferences are very individual and we all run the risk of sitting next to someone who dislikes the notes we love. Besides, to some people, certain (stong) smells can trigger migraines.

Trying perfumes in stores

This is the most important part of the process. Spray the perfume somewhere your skin is naturally warm, like wrist or the internal part of the elbow. This way, the fragrance will warm up and reveal itself with time. Never rub the spot you sprayed because it warms up the perfume, breaking apart its molecules more quickly.

Time is a determining factor in the choice of the right perfume. Perfumes have entrance notes, which are the ones that you can sense most intensely in the first 15 to 30 minutes.

The essence of the perfume will be revealed only after it blends with the chemistry of your skin, and this takes time. Experts suggest testing the same perfume for two days; after all, diet, light, heat, everything in the environment can affect the perfume. That’s why perfume stores provide free samples.

Where should I apply perfume?

The strategic places to use the perfume are the warm places of the body, such as behind the ears, internal part of the arms and even behind the knees. This will make it last longer, but the duration depends mostly on the quality of the perfume. A good perfume lasts all day long with only 2 sprays.

A woman should apply perfume where she wants to be kissed.

Coco Chanel

Perfume is personality

Now that you already know how to choose the right perfume for you, dedicate more time to this choice, it’s definitely worth it.

If you liked this article, share it with your friends and follow us on the social networks to be informed of each new publication.

The post How to Choose the Right Perfume for You appeared first on blog.my-sugar-daddy.co.uk.

What hides behind a compromise?

Think of a common scenario: choosing your next holiday destination. You’d like to go somewhere new, while your partner wants to visit their family, which you’ve done together several times already. Deciding for either of these two options seems unavoidable. But is it a bad thing?

Of course it’s bad! The message behind it is “I win and you lose”. In a compromise, one of the parties has to let go of something they desire. How is it fair to decide that one’s wishes and preferences are more important than their partner’s? It isn’t. Here’s why:

How compromise will kill your relationship

Having to prioritize or completely give up on your desires in favor of someone else’s is called sacrifice. I admit that there’s a positive side to sacrifice: it makes you come off as a good person because, after all, you are taking some pain so that your partner is happy. Isn’t it noble? No, because it will lead up to resentment.

People don’t just self-sacrifice out of goodness. They do it in exchange for something else. Maybe they expect their partners to self-sacrifice in a different area of the relationship in compensation.

RELATED ARTICLE: The sugar baby willing to compromise

But what if they don’t communicate this expectation? And what if the other person doesn’t deliver their end of the bargain? I guarantee you that resentment will ensue and start poisoning the relationship from the inside because this might be a recurring dynamic.

How can you change the end of the story?

Strive for a third option

The solution is very simple: turn lose-lose and lose-win scenarios into win-wins! Use your creativity to find a way that you both can have what you want. First of all, you have to be able to pinpoint what experience you definitely don’t want to miss out on.

In the previous example, one person seems to value seeing their family during their vacation whereas the other prefers experiencing something new. What about spending half the time with the in-laws and half the time exploring the surroundings? Or spending the first few days apart, she at her family’s, he at a new destination, and her joining him later on somewhere she was also excited about visiting?

SUGGESTED: What it means to be an empowered sugar baby

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What is the pelvic floor and where is it?

This set of muscles is located in the lower part of the abdominal cavity and is responsible for holding the pelvic organs — the bladder, urethra, rectum, uterus and vagina or penis — in the proper position. This is very important, since their regular functioning depends on this.

We all know that these organs play the main role during sex, so in order for people to have satisfactory and painless intercourse, it is important to keep the pelvic floor muscles working properly and well trained.

The importance of pelvic floor training for women

As women, we all know how fundamental it is to understand how our body works and to stay healthy, no matter what age.

Women who have had kids and feel that sex isn’t as good as before can improve sensitivity with pelvic floor training and feel the same pleasure as before.

If you sometimes pee a little bit when laughing or sneezing, these exercises can help you too. This is a very common occurrence, yet not normal, so there is nothing better than these workouts to improve your health and stop those seemingly uncomfortable leaks. Besides, they prevent prolapse… which is one of the worst things a woman could experience.

Did you know most of us pee wrong?! I’m referring to our posture. First of all, you shouldn’t be distracted with your phone while you do it. Take this time to relax your mind and pelvic floor and adopt the proper posture in the bathroom. For this, you can place a small bench under your feet.

You might have heard that it is a good pelvic exercise to cut the flow of urine while peeing, but this is completely false. When you go to the bathroom, you should let everything out without interruption.

The correct way to exercise these muscles is by purposefully contracting and relaxing the pelvic muscles, as if you were trying to stop the urine flow. There are hundreds of videos with instructions on YouTube.

Strong pelvic muscles make for more sensitivity to touch and strong orgasms. So pay attention girls, these muscles can give you a lot of worry or a lot of pleasure depending on how you treat them!

Benefits for men

Even though men don’t give birth, they should also take care of their pelvic floor from a young age because this training will bring them a lot of satisfaction and prevent many problems that come with age. It is recommended for men who have sexual dysfunctions such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.

Men can start with something as simple as changing the usual way they go to the bathroom. Actually, it is healthier to pee while sitting than standing. As for women, there are many good videos with instructions for men.

So pay attention men, if you want to improve your performance, get your pelvic muscles moving and enjoy the benefits!

And, of course: if you feel that you are experiencing persistent or intense discomfort during sex or urination, consult your health practitioner!

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